An ironic smile flashed across his lips as he considered what he was about to do to her. “You’re about to spank her and you’re telling yourself you will not abuse her?” Although he did not verbalise it at that moment, he knew he was not deceiving himself, not rationalising his behaviour to justify his desires. He was entering unknown waters but he felt the union of desires he shared with her. He had never abused the emotional trust she had for him and knew he was not doing so now.
Yet behind that certainty lay a personal uncertainty about where he was leading himself. Mark saw himself as a normal guy, one who may like to control love-making but within the bounds of accepted conventions. And now he was about to allow his inner desires to burst through those conventions. Despite his outward fixedness, his inner self trembled at what he might become.